Friday, 19 September 2008

Update time! This week! There's a lot of love in the room...

This has been an incredible week. I think nearly all the weeks of my life during the last few years can be classified in that bracket because I'm determined to live for every second, but this one has been no exception :-D Here are some of the things I've been up to. Friday:

Ruth Harvey
September 13 at 8:58am

I went to a poetry open mic night here in Harlem last night.

I was pretty much the only white person there, and with my english accent i must've looked like teh poshest person in the ghetto

they were super lovely, made me do a piece and i got hugs & big-ups, even though i've never shaken so much in my life

there were people mcing about coming off heroin, being raped by their 65 year old grandfather repeatedly as a child, losing friends to drugs etc, really fucking humbling & made me realise how fucking lucky we are

and the whole time i kept thinking 'i wish leah was here, she'd be LOVING this"

so steal over on a boat or plane, or sell a kidney or hijack a hot air balloon, next one's on the 28th

otherwise see you in Brizzle soon

Big love to you, Rich & my pink plate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

Leah Marks
September 15 at 2:27pm

I'm so proud of you, you marvellous bouncing tripfest of a friend!

Wow!

I'm uttely speechless at how cool that is. Fuck me. Blimey.

I wish I'd been there. Gosh.

I've still got your freakin shoes, by the way.

x x x x x x

On Saturday I had arranged to meet up with Lauren for the first time - the girlfriend of my friend John that died. I was expecting a sombre day of laying flowers on his grave, tears & talking about memories of times we'd spent with him. Little did I expect us to get on famously, spend the day laughing to the point of hysterics, having some very inappropriate conversations about someone who'd recently 'passed on' (think SATC) & becoming firm friends. It was so much fun, and I love that after he died she found out what a player he was. We laughed heartily about how all the women came crawling out of the woodwork at the funeral & how he must've been looking down going "holy shit, I'm so glad I'm not there for this one!". Knowing John he would've been saying that too ;-D The day culminated with me missing my train so Lauren's friend Chris drove us back to Harlem in style - in his awesome car styled up as the General Lee, off of the Dukes of Hazard. The irony was not lost on us, but luckily it was lost on the people of Harlem & we got back safely. Phew. I think the biggest laugh of the night was Chris describing himself as "Robojew - you know- half man half jew". I think I had tears running down my face at that point!

Other highlights of the week include me starting my college course in all things Jungian, which was even more incredible than I expected. I've mentioned to a few people that the number 32 - my lucky number - is reoccuring with such regularity right now I can't ignore it. I've tried to even actively look for other numbers to try & prove it's not happening, but it is. Jung wrote a lot - and effectively proved - that symbolism & synchronicity like this is our subconscious sending messages to our conscious. I discussed the meaning with the teacher & she helped me discover what it is telling me. 32 is the number of the house I grew up in. The last time - before my "awakening" thing last year - that I'd been truly happy & felt at home. It's a massive sign that not only am I back on the right path again but I'm meant to be here in New York. Wow. My intuition had been telling me this already, but what an amazing confirmation. I'm looking forward to learning a lot more about Jung. What a dude.

I've been proposed to a couple of times by our plumber. He's a very sweet, old local guy, who's even tried to show me his house to convince me: "it's next to the church AND opposite the park!". Bless him. It's like he even gets me ;-D My friend Talib was even trying to persuade me saying "he's just a bit lonely" & obviously it would sort out the visa issue. Not sure where I stand on marriage, but if I am going to do it I'm going to hold out for true love & not go for the greencard approach. Although come back & recheck my principles again in 6 months when I can't afford a return flight back to Europe to renew my visa...!

It's been a bit of a dark week in places too, I've become pretty insecure a few times, especially when tired & stressed. It's a good sign of my general state of mind that even when I'm in an absolute state I always know it's temporary & sleep/exercise/food will bring me back to normal. But a big shout out to two of my closest friends Ferny L & Mr Maginness for receiving some angst ridden material from me, and knowing that I'm fine but being legendary friends too. I love you both dearly.

I've been making some new collage art, to be displayed at the pad here. Talib has even asked me if I want to set up a store here to sell some, but I'm really not ready for that yet! I'd forgotten how painstaking collage work is, but it's one of my favourite mediums (apart from writing, naturally!)

I posted my 9/11 piece on Facebook & emailed it to a few people too. I had some cracking feedback, with a lot of people in tears, but most critically for me both my parents loved it. I have a troubled relationship at the best of times with my family, but to receive that kind of feedback from both of them astounded me. My Mum even told me she's really proud of me and sent it off to The Times! It's probably just biased maternal pride but that pretty much floored me. And my heart sung with happiness to know my Mum is proud of me. Despite some difficult times I love all of my family very much.

Last night I had big plans. We were going to a Burlesque party dressed as 1940s style pinup girls, then I was on the guestlist for Degenerates at the Hiro Ballroom - always an incredible night. Plus God (aka Moby) was djing. I ended up going around to Caitlin & Blake's, and getting absolutely wasted with them & their intriguing friend Merin & not going out at all. And it was ace! We talked about some big topics, generally put the world to rights, but a good one for the three of us ladies was talking about guys who just think with their penises, and how disappointing it is when you think you've met someone you connect with and then it becomes clear they are just after a trophy after all. Since I've started going into altered states during meditation now (The Kentage & Matty C - I need to discuss this with both of you!) & I find it takes any mood-enhancing experiences (such as alcohol, hyperactivity) to an even more intense level & last night was quite trippy. My US phone will not send texts to international phones so apologies to Sean for getting the brunt of my text action as he also has a US phone. Although you did seem amused by me telling you I was "alterated" - haha!

Fall has arrived in a big way - the evenings are getting a lot colder & there's a beautiful chill in the air that is Mr Winter breathing his iciness at us from a distance. As I left the UK in July, not expecting to leap & the net to actually appear (which it totally did - and then some) I packed for a New York pavement-melting summer. My flirty dresses, little skirts & tank tops, whilst looking great are really not cutting the mustard warmth-wise! So I went out in search of some cozier garments the other day. A you may well realise my budget is now smaller than a teeny thing plus I embrace the freegan lifestyle (Sandra & I found *actual saucepans* in the street the other day - we nearly cried with the excitement!) so I headed to the local thrift stores. I would've made do with some nasty old hoodies & mangy jeans to hang out at the hostel in. But oh no. This is New York City, and even in the grubbiest Salvation Army store in the roughest part of Harlem (oh yes, I'm now hardcore) there were gems to be unearthed. I managed to get a Gap sweatshirt, a slinky black DKNY jumper & some paperdenim&cloth jeans that fit me LIKE A GLOVE, all for less than $18. That's 9 of your english pounds!!!! To say I was ecstatic is an understatement! I'm not a label person, but to know these new threads are not only a bargain & stylish but well-made too makes me very happy. So I'm now warm(er) and my money went to a charity, rather than a sweatshop. It's literally all good in the hood ;-D

I've also rekindled my love for smail mail. My new friend Myles (I'll write about him another time) has sent me some gorgeous pieces, and I am now making a daily pilgrimage to the post office. There are some sick things heading to a few of you as & when I see appropriate things. Get excited!

One of my bestest friends Rebecca has moved house & is now living by herself in Brizzle. She's recently separated from her husband and her unstoppable strength is breathtakingly admirable. The crazy thing is she can't even see how strong she's being. Despite a few (very minor) household scrapes (burns, cuts & the like!) she sounds like she's doing well, and her & Sian have a date with a certain Mr P Grigio tonight. Good girls, I'm there in spirit!

I finally heard from CK Magic too, some of you may know he's recently got a new girlfriend, and we ALL get sucked into a blackhole for a while when we start going out with someone that rocks our socks. He's fine, being going through a bit of a change curve lately. I think the fact his lovely lady is so fabulous to him has made him comes to terms with the fact he is a legend, I think we underestimate how much easier it is to dislike ourselves than like ourselves. He's one of my dearest friends - I'm proud of you big fella, and I love you xx

Oh and Tony Hill, ace photographer, all round legend & pretend internet friend has announced he's coming to visit NEXT WEEK! I'm very excited. Suddenly a weekend of ace plans has gone up a few notches, which I didn't realise was possible! There will be a lot of fun to be had, and some sick photography taken. To say I'm looking forward to it is like saying Hitler was a little bit naughty. It's going to be weird to talk in the flesh though as our friendship so far has taken on the very digital form of swapping lots of emails & text messages. I think we last spoke (although the jury is out even on that!) in 95. Shit, that was a long time ago!

So folks, that was my week. Just another awesome week in an awesome life. I have even more excitement planned for next week. I definitely do need to start writing my memoirs - Sophie was right when she said my life is like a film. Mi gusta la vida!

xxxxxx

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